TulsiLeaf


Friends? What are those?
April 29, 2010, 8:52 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Motherhood can be so isolating sometimes.  I feel it now more than ever.

I have no concept of how to make friends anymore.  Not just acquaintances, but real honest friends.  I don’t need much, just maybe one.   The community we live in is strange, it’s very conservative, but lots of hippies around here.  I feel very stuck in how to make friends with people who are like me.  I am not very mainstream, pretty liberal, young (I turn 30 this year) and I have a kid.  I want a friend with kids that thinks like me.  Someone that I can call up, invite over for dinner.  Go out with.  Someone to help me out of this tough little shell I have built around myself.

I told my husband it’s like dating all over.  I hate dating!

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6 Comments so far
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Hi Tulsi Leaf! This is my first time on your blog, and I am enjoying it. I just wanted to say that I know how you feel…I am a young mother myself (I just turned 24 in March). I have a 2 1/2 year old beautiful son. I am the first of my group of friends to get married and have a child, so it can be very difficult to find support sometimes. I live in a suburb of Dallas, TX…very conservative, very Christian…which doesn’t really complement my liberal and earth-based spirituality. As a former ballet dancer, I have always tried to fill our home with music and dancing and laughter which has made some magical moments, but the loneliness does creep in…with my husband at work, I always long for that adult friend to pour my heart to. My friends (mostly dancers) are dancing all over the country, so it’s hard to talk with them as often as I would like to…but I enjoy the time I have with my little one and my dear husband.I just wanted to say that you’re not alone…Sending you peace and sunshine from Texas!

Comment by Eillene

Eillene-
You’re a ballet dancer!? How wonderful, I always wanted to be one, but I didn’t have the *right feet* and I was to short they said. I should have done it anyways, because I was super limber, graceful and I could jump like crazy.
Thanks for your comment, and please make yourself at home here! I love the interaction that I get here, since I sorely miss it at home. I spent the first year of my daughters life at home and it was so isolating. We only had one car, so I was stuck at home(and with a royal case of post partum depression to go along with it). I started working part time and while it got me out of the house and some adult interaction, it has left me super guilty about not being at home with my daughter. Granted my work is only 2 minutes down the road and 6 hours 3 days a week. But I should be home, you know?
We to live in a rather conservative area, but I am in a liberal pocket. Sometimes *to* liberal ( I really don’t enjoy pot smoke at shows or at the drum circle because then I can’t bring my daughter who would love it).

Comment by tulsileaf

Oh my goodness, I could have written this post! I am 31 years old, a little bit shy, and not very ‘mainstream’ in my parenting attitudes. It so hard sometimes, and so isolating too.
Rosaleen ♥

Comment by rosaleen

Sometimes I think, “well maybe I am just not putting myself out there enough?”

I hate it so. So frustrating trying to make friends. I don’t want to be so focused on it, you know? It’s seriously like dating. When I was single I always wanted a boyfriend, the second I stopped looking, there my husband was. Maybe I should stop looking.
but it’s so hard when you have children, want friends with children, but live a totally different life to them. I want friends that share in my activities. Not look at me like I am the weird one for homeschooling.

Thanks for the comment.

Comment by tulsileaf

I understand how you feel. It really is like mommy dating. You have to concentrate on similarities and get beyond the superficial hellos. I have found that being part of a craft group is a great, low-key way to hang out with other moms. You have something to keep your hands busy with while you talk or listen. Anyway, still havent found my bestest girlfriend yet, but I know she’s out there. 🙂

Comment by Cristina

I guess my problem to is I have fierce social anxiety. I am getting over it, I never used to have it. I used to love going out and meeting new people, but in the past few years it’s gotten bad.

i switched my blog over to blogger! Come visit there
http://www.tulsileaftraders.blogspot.com

Comment by tulsileaf




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